Think 'Ding Dong'..

Blur blur..

gosh.. i've been feeling so blur ever since i started work last week, and i got lost coming back from work on my first day!! and being a part of the kl jam after working hours is definitely not a good feeling.. the traffic jam i have to face everyday going and coming back from work is undescribable.. the 'torture' i go through everyday.. hahaha! so to avoid the traffic jam in the morning, i go very early in the morning so that i reach workplace one hour before my work starts.. and doze till it's time to start doing stuff.. hahaha!! thank god i found a place nearby my workplace to move in.. with the petrol price increase, it's perfect timing.. i'm moving in next month!!

although the work i'm doing now has almost everything to do with a part of what i've learnt in uni, i felt seriously disconnected from it.. and i was brainless enough to not look up information from my notes and internet to piece the information together since i couldn't connect one information with the other.. and this continued until....... my boyfriend suggested me to look it up online.. gosh.. how blur could someone get? i mean.. i've been doing that ever since i started uni to do my reports and assignments and even things to read for exams (the looking up info online part) but i just didn't think of that when i was feeling so blur and stupid in work.. haih..

then after not feeling so stupid anymore, i made so many careless mistakes, making it necessary to repeat some of the tests on drilling fluid samples.. i dunno whether it's blurness or just not focusing.. today was the worse.. i mixed up the samples and i couldn't tell which one was which!!! so i had to retrace my steps to try figure out which sample belongs to which data.. and i didn't want to repeat the test cause it'd take one whole day!! haih... long story.. if wanna know more then message me ler.. bottom line is.. i've been very blur ever since i started work..

Work..

gosh.. i didn't know the last time i posted something was exactly 4 months ago.. hahaha! time flies so fast.. and now i'm off to face a new phase of my life which is..... work.. i wanted to post something earlier after my exams were over but i was caught up with so many things like submitting final year project report, pre-employment medical check-up and the trip to china-hong kong-macau.. i just came back from macau two days ago and just thought i should update whoever who still cares to read my not-up-to-date blog that i'm starting work on the 26th may in scomi oiltools..

honestly, before i got any job offer, i was very anxious for one and got so down when most of my friends got called for interviews or got offers but i didn't get any of that sort.. haha.. the first time i went for an interview, the interviewer asked me to further my studies instead of coming out to work!! he even gave me his namecard to contact him if i want any information regarding studying abroad for my phd.. he was so heated up trying to persuade me that furthering my study is the best thing for me and he was encouraging me to do it abroad.. well, maybe it's just his way of politely saying.. "we do not want you" or he seriously meant what he said..

most ppl i know asked me to further my studies, as i might have the chance of doing my phd and skipping my masters.. my parents, friends and even the interviewer asked me to do phd.. but i feel i'm not ready for more researches and thesis writing.. i had a tough time writing my final year project report which is only about a quarter of a phd thesis.. i might be mentally dead by the time i finish..

finally, just before my exams started i got 2 job offers.. and it was hard to turn one down.. i felt so guilty for saying no to one company but heck, i can't be in two places at the same time.. so i had to do it.. maybe it's in my nature to feel bad for saying no.. it has happened numerous times and often i'd end up feeling like i shouldn't be living.. anyway, back to my work..

i'm gonna start working on the 26th.. and i'm actually very nervous.. i feel like it's going to be a never-ending journey with no confirmed final destination or some sort.. it's very different from studying.. at least when you're studying, you know you're gonna face more exams and assignments and such after your hols but work.. it's never-ending.. it's uncertain.. it's also the time for me to really grow and be an adult..

I need money!

hmmm.. let's see.. since september, i've spent around 1500 on my car and 2000 on my new laptop.. plus all those shopping (christmas presents, clothes and shoes) and trips and other things(fuel, food) that i've spent money on.. i dun dare to count that.. all i know is, i've been withdrawing money almost every few days in very large amounts.. waaaaaaaaaa.. well, laptop was necessary, and car as well.. sometimes, when i think about my car, i feel like crying.. it takes up too much of my allowance and savings..

early september, i spent 480 fixing the car.. the mechanic told my dad that i overheated the car and something(i can't remember what that something was) burst inside and spilt black oil all over the engine.. well, i saw the car temperature rising.. but i couldn't stop anywhere to cool it cause i was stuck in the middle of kajang town.. kajang town's infested with cars.. haih.. so that was 480.. then, in november, my road tax and car insurance dued.. i spent 200 to renew the roadtax and car insurance.. why so cheap? cause i bought third party insurance.. even so, it seems like it's a lot.. then, i changed the two front tyres, which cost me 180.. then, sometime mid december, my brake system failed.. and that cost me 225.. recently, my car radiator gave me problems.. the radiator was leaking, and the mechanic said that the radiator cannot be fixed anymore so they changed the radiator.. and that cost 300.. so, totalling up, i've spent 1385 in 4 months, fixing my car so that i can travel to uni everyday..

it might not be such a big figure for some ppl, but keep in mind, i bear all my own expenses, including whatever i need to spend on my responsibility(car).. i do not burden my parents, and i do not wish to do so in the near future.. and, i'm a student, with no income..

hopefully, my car doesn't cause me anymore trouble.. as for my trip with yvonne after graduating, it'll remain as a dream and dream only, unless i work part time for the next few months.. anyone wants maths or science tuition? hahaha..

Cheated..

three words to summarise how i've been feeling for the past few days, especially today: I FEEL CHEATED. haih.. i was so excited this morning.. i was looking forward to seeing the new kids coming to my class this morning.. oh ya.. i'm talking about sunday class.. today was their first day in the class and they're so small and cute.. and since it's the first day, parents would come to register their kids in the class and the class was really packed with kids and their parents just now.. first time i see so many new kids registering on the first day since the many years i've been in the class.. that just shows, once again, that i'm old already.. haih..

anyways, i was handling the registration money in the class and since there're so many parents registering the kids, it was a bit kelam kabut.. till i lost one 50 ringgit bank note.. i can't even remember who i gave it to, but i think it's because i mistook the 50 as 5, and i gave it as a change to one parent.. and the parent didn't realise that mistake.. haih.. hopefully next week i'll get it back.. now you may ask.. why do i feel cheated? i myself dunno.. i guess if someone intentionally keep something, in this case, 50 bucks from the rightful person, then it's cheating.. but i must not jump to conclusions yet.. i'm not pointing fingers and blaming cause i know it could be just an honest mistake.. and it's my mistake to begin with.. shouldn't have been so careless with it.. haih..  hopefully the money will turn up soon..

so back to the innocent kids.. surprisingly, not many kids cry on their first day.. only 3 this year.. the previous years, we had quite a number of kids crying and we couldn't handle the situation.. there're always 4 of us and we usually carry the kids, place them on our laps, bribe them with sweets.. anything to stop them from crying and feeling comfortable enough to ask their parents to leave the class.. this year, however, the kids are brave enough to stay in the class alone without parents..

hopefully i'll be able to remember the names of the kids.. so far, there're 3 shauns and 2 catherines in my class.. i think..

Spontaneity..

in terms of chemistry, spontaneous (in own words) means a process which happens naturally, without applying work on the system.. it doesn't have to happen immediately, as long as it happens naturally.. it could take gazillion years for it to happen, as long as there's no foreign force acting on it.. hmmmm.. i wonder if it's correct or not, the way i put it.. sometimes i feel like i've learnt nothing in uni..

this morning, i woke up and i thought.. hmmmm.. new year's day's on tuesday, and i dun have classes on monday.. why not make a trip to penang? so i messaged my friend, and yes, she's free during the weekend to entertain me! though i feel i shouldn't bother her at the very last minute but then again, if not now, then when? so i bought the bus ticks in the afternoon, and i'm leaving this sat.. this does not need to take gazillion years for it to happen.. heh..

Gone..

Gone are the days when i play batu seremban with my friends, gone are the days when i hope i'd be a grown-up overnight.. gone are the days when i dread to go to school on mondays.. gone are the days when i look forward to seeing someone in tuition class, gone are the days when i sit and cry wondering why me? gone are the days when i laugh so much till i have labour pain during study groups, gone are the days when i study with my friends in mcd.. gone as well, my holiday.. back in uni, and this is my last semester, hopefully..

with just a blink of an eye, the year has come to an end.. and in just a few months time, i'll be in the working world (hopefully i graduate at the same time like everyone else).. what does the future have in store for me? what has God prepared for me? no one knows.. only time can tell.. i'm not worried about what the future holds.. maybe i'll continue my studies, or maybe i'll work.. but i'm not worried about it.. i just feel like blogging.. to let go.. so, if this doesn't make any sense to you, sorry.. i just feel like i should be a drama-queen for today.. hahaha!

first day back in uni.. ah.. i've missed planning with yvonne what to have for lunch.. we used to plan what to eat for lunch, what movie to watch in between classes.. should we skip our class, or should we be good girls? when should we go to lab? because of all the plannings with her, i've put on say.. 1.5kg last semester? hahaha.. my bad.. i just cannot resist food.. that's how i became a buffalo when i was 20.. so today, we had mcd.. and we started to plan.. where to go after our graduation, and stuff.. haih.. we seriously need to have loads of money with all the plannings we've made..

if i'm given a choice, i'd like it if this semester passes by slowly.. i wanna cherish the life of a student.. i remember, back when i was in lower secondary, i used to count the number of years remaining to finish form 5.. then form six came, and uni.. i used to say.. i can't wait for my course to finish.. then i can work! go travel! do what i want! live on my own! that kinda stuff.. but now, when i'm faced with the fact that i only have another semester remaining, i become sad.. sad to leave an innocent-like world, and stepping into working world.. it's funny how we wish for something which is not in front of us.. we dun appreciate something till it's gone.. i wonder if it's just me or it's the same with everyone else..

well, we've come to the end of year 2007.. so many things have happened.. the good ones, and the bad ones.. old relationship rekindled (not exactly rekindled.. more like time to catch up, but rekindled sounds nicer), new friends made, old friends lost (not exactly lost, again, just urm.. never keep in touch i'd say.. i'm such a drama-queen).. time to let go of any old pain and old memories, and also time to thank God for what He has given.. time to grow, time to blossom, time to reflect and time to love.. hee.. also, time to vote! (i still can't accept it.. why should i vote for bangi(adun) and serdang(mp) when i'm staying in kajang??) time to forgive and forget, time to seek for forgiveness(this is hard).. time to move on..

wishing everyone a happy and meaningful year ahead.. and i'd like to take this opportunity to say sorry.. if i've offended you in anyway that i do not know of.. if you really feel offended, and i seem to be ignorant, please do let me know how have i offended you.. peace!

"time.. look where we are and what we've been through.. time.. sharing our dreams.. time goes on and on, everyday.. time is what it is, come what may..."

yes.. i'm so over studying for this sem.. hahahaha.. exam's over!! yippee!!

i just came back from tesco, went there to buy some baking needs.. and everything's like overedly expensive.. i didn't realise that the price for everything's gone up.. i just thought tesco want us to all cekik darah or something.. and after paying unwillingly for the items, i went to kfc, .. and guess what? the price for everything in kfc has also gone up.. the last time i went to kfc was on the 1st nov..

i dunno when did the price increase happened.. what is going on? i'm a bit blur.. what to do.. for the past two weeks i've been studying.. and shut myself up from the outside world.. i did read about bread's price going up, and other basic necessities, but it only hit me just now.. the price for EVERTYHING has gone up.. and soon, we'll need to pay more for fuel.. and dunno what else we need to pay more for.. electricity?

why all the increase? is it necessary? with the price for everything going up, i wonder whether there's any increase in salary or not.. not gov servants.. ppl from the private sector.. and what about students? i for one, drive to my campus everyday.. my parents dun give me allowance anymore.. i depend solely on my ptptn loan.. and the amount i receive every semester's not going to increase or anything (thank goodness i only have another sem to go).. how am i gonna pay for the new petrol price? what about other students who stay on their own? how are they going to manage? i hope the increase in petrol will not be too drastic..

oh yeah.. i went to tesco to buy some baking needs cause i wanna bake cookies to sell.. hahaha.. sounds shocking? well, the previous post i said my laptop got struck by lightning, and i sent it to see if it's repairable.. the engineer told me it'll cost 1.5k to fix it.. no way.. i'm getting a new one.. and hence, i need the money.. so, i bake cookies!! anyone interested in buying.. can drop an order or something.. i have, chocolate chip cookies with nuts or raisins, your choice.. pineapple tarts and london almond.. hee..

lucky?

the popular phrase in english: "lightning never struck twice"; is sooooooooo wrong.. my laptop got struck by lightning.. AGAIN!!!!! waaaaaaaaa.. i spent 850 the last time to have my motherboard replaced.. i'm so not willing to spend another 850 to get it repaired.. i need money to get new laptop!! i wonder is there anyone out there who is willing to sponsor me to get a new one.. hahaha! yer.. so sad.. and everyone's telling me the same thing.. why you never take precaution steps.. bla bla bla.. haih.. what to do? nasi sudah menjadi bubur.. i also didn't want it to happen.. but it did.. so sad.. i'm such a 'lucky' person.. but in a way i dun want to be lucky!! i've never been lucky as in never won any competition where money is the prize.. so crap.. :'(

Shot..

k.. since i have nothing to do at the moment, i'll continue with my story.. the one about my proposal presentation on wednesday.. every student doing final year project is required to present a proposal concerning his/her project to two evaluators (lecturers).. 10 minutes of the student babbling, and 5 minutes for Q and A session.. my session got me traumatised for more than 24 hours! well, not exactly that long.. but still long enough..

my project title is: formation and stabilty of vitamin c-enriched nano-emulsion using nonionic surfactants.. k.. i know a lot of you reading this (i'm not sure whether there's anyone reading in the first place) don't have a clue what i'm talking about.. but i just need to blog it out to feel better..

naturally, i would describe what're emulsion and surfactant.. and i thought up of many ridiculous questions they could ask me during the q and a session, and bothered my senior with those questions.. i've never expected the lecturer to ask me something which i never mentioned at all in my presentation.. he began by saying.. emulsion is a type of colloid.. can you tell me what's colloid? and he kept asking questions related to colloids.. i really feel it's unfair of him to ask me questions to test my knowledge.. shouldn't he ask questions regarding my presentation? like.. ask questions about whatever he's not clear concerning my presentation.. he started off by testing my knowledge.. he seriously made me feel as though i'm stupid or something.. i'm not trying to say i'm very clever and above par or anything.. maybe i should have think out of the box.. read up on colloids or something.. even my senior said he never expected the lecturer to ask those kind of questions.. and the theory behind stability? the one proposed by 4 scientists? even some masters student dunno what's the theory.. and he expects me to know?? that's a bit too much.. and throughout my presentation, he had that cynical smile(or maybe sinister..) all through my presentation, nodding so often.. had the feeling that he memang wanna kenakan me from the very beginning.. so unfair..

Flashback..

i didn't know before this that i've not updated my bloggie for almost three months! ok.. a quick flashback of what i've done since the last post.. i've completed my industrial training a month ago.. luckily i never blow anything up.. hahaha!.. kinda sad during my last day of training.. funny how when i first started, i had the habit of counting down the days left till the next weekend.. and also the weeks left for me to finish training and disappear from sika.. dun get me wrong.. it's not that i loath going there.. it's just pure laziness i guess.. hahaha!.. but some ppl are so nice over there.. they always made my day by making me laugh so much.. though not till the point where i'd have my infamous labour laugh.. but that's like a month ago..

and then, i went on a trip to penang with yishan, bebek, monkey and tv.. a little advice to those who wanna make a trip to penang or anywhere else for the matter of fact.. never ever take a train!! it's like so slow.. and stops ever so often.. and.. i lost my chocolates.. can you imagine that?? it's like a half-eaten packet of chocolate-coated honeycomb suddenly disappear into the thin air.. half-eaten.. i'd understand if it's an unopened packet.. but the best part of our trip's trying to find our way around the island.. we rented a car.. and we were circling the town for more than half an hour to get on the right road so that we could check into our hotel! and the drivers in penang.. worse than kajang drivers.. i always had the perception that kajang drivers are the worst.. not anymore!!

after a week of resting (never gotten any rest also.. everyday went out..) right after the industrial training, it's time to go back to uni.. back to books.. lectures.. final year project.. haih.. tiring.. but luckily this sem, i only have like 10 hours of lectures per week! and my fridays are free! so happy..

k.. enough said about flashbacks.. tired dy.. i actually wanna talk about what happened in my proposal presentation yesterday (1.8.2007).. but.. i'm tired and sleepy.. if i have the mood tomorrow.. i'll post another bloggie..